You Were Never Too Much

You will never be too much for the right person and if you think you are then you are asking the wrong person to love you. We spend so much time on the wrong people thinking we need to mould ourselves into their version of perfect. To be loved, we often become shapeshifters, stitching together a version we think they’ll choose. We abandon who we are just to be accepted as someone we’re not. And somewhere along the way, love stops feeling like home and starts feeling like performance. We dim our light, shrink our voices just to be liked, forgetting that real love never asks us to be less. We become less, hoping that maybe we will be more than enough for them. But I've grown to learn that it will never matter. You could cut down every piece of you, become the smallest version of yourself until there is nothing left of you but someone completely unrecognizable. And the wrong person will still find a reason not to stay. They will find a reason to leave and choose someone else. Because it was never about you. It was never about your laugh being too loud or your jokes landing wrong, your emotional intelligence or the way you love too hard. It was about them being incapable of holding you because you were asking the wrong person to love you. They will make you think that you are too much but I've learnt that being "too much" is just an excuse when someone can't meet you where you already are. One day you will meet the right person and they will hear your laugh at the most wrong and awkward moment and they will laugh with you. They will listen to your stories which go on too long and will never once check the time. They're going to see the parts of you which you have been hiding, the deepest, darkest parts of your soul, and they will stay. So no, you weren't too much. And you didn't fail at being lovable. You just kept asking the wrong person to prove that you are.