The weight of my reflection

I laugh easily, As if life had been kind to me lately I look in the mirror, and feel like breaking it Every crack would finally show What I hide inside of it I hate the way I look The way my voice sounds wrong I replay every sentence, long after it’s gone I hate myself, my body, my thoughts, my tone I feel like a stranger Like I don’t belong to my own bones I do nothing productive, Days dissolve into air I watch life happen outside Like I’m not meant to be there There are moments, when I wish I could stay Inside these four walls forever Because nothing in this world feels better I cry at night, when everyone’s asleep The dark doesn’t judge me When my breathing turns weak I laugh when I’m supposed to I smile when I should I perform being okay Like I’m misunderstood Still, I smile Even if it’s fake, I try In my own broken way, I give my best to survive